“Today I’ll let it seep in, all the feelings that have confused me from the beginning. For once, I’m giving them a chance to untangle themselves. It’s around 12 in the night and I’m struggling to sleep. The ticking of the clock disturbs me. I throw my blanket away, it’s starting to suffocate me. I go to the balcony. It’s not that I always do it, take walks during midnight but since I’ve acquired the habit of taking solo walks in the evening, I’ve realised that looking at the limitless sky can solve a lot of your problems. If not solve them, then maybe just give you your breath back amidst all the chaos. I’ve always loved the night more than the day. I don’t know how people can find the night time nothing but dark. They may find darkness depressing but for me, darkness gives me warmth when I’m cold, like the walls of a shell I can hide into. The stars are still sparkling. I don’t think they are affected by our world and the fantasies we live in. They have a world of their own, a world where they are the masters of their lives, where no one’s watching them. The best part is, they are beautiful when they live and remain beautiful when they die. I believe they’ve been somehow giving everyone the hope they need while they sit there in the sky just like they’ve been giving me and will also give us all a wish to ask for when they die too, only if we are lucky to see them die. My words could just keep coming out of my mind endlessly, like some road who’s end is always covered with those trees that attract you so much towards themselves that you want to desperately know what lies beyond them even if it means walking such a long distance. But when you reach where the trees are, you realise that it’s still not the end. My words are such, attractting and deceiving at the same time. I look straight above me again. The sky’s limitless, and unending. Wherever you go, it’s always there above you, looking just the same everytime, the moon following you everywhere, and the stars smiling. It’s just so huge. Maybe a part of me comes here not just to gaze at the stars but because the sky always tells it that it’s so large, consuming everything above and that all my problems are so small among the things that exist. It tells me that it cries, like I do too sometimes, but the next morning it’s back with its blue. For us. No matter what it faces, it’s still there, covering all of us. Saving all of us. It makes the sun rise for us, it makes the birds fly for us. It tells me that it’s huge. Larger than all the adversities. It tells me that it will give hope to so many solitary souls like me even if one of us gives it up. It lives for us. Whenever I fill up my mind with the thoughts of some things happening that I won’t be able to bear or some things I yet cannot fathom, it looks at me and smiles, tells me that if it can, why can’t I?
The sky’s so beautiful, so strong and larger than anything each of us is facing. It tells me that darkness is beautiful, so is misery and so is strength.
I realise that I’ve written so much. My musings never end. Nor do the problems. But neither does the sky, and neither do all the things that look beautiful today. Look closely, and you’ll see that they are all mirrors, having the exact same smiles, groans, cries, and laughs as you.
My eyelashes flicker and my eyes feel tired. I need to hug my bed now. I know that this sky will still be there tomorrow. Waiting for me, waiting for all of us to wake up again like it always does.”